Chapter 2016 Closing, for Chapter 2017 to Begin

2016 has been overwhelming, stressful and challenging. Donna and I spend almost every week with our brother Tony, either in chemo or doctor appointments. Tony almost made it through 2016, but his body gave out on him too soon. His brilliant mind was with us until the end of his life here on earth. I just hope his brilliant mind took on another form and continues in this life in some sort of spirit or soul.

Watching my brother take his last breath on earth was the most unbelievable sad feeling I have ever felt and witnessed. It has been three weeks and one day since he left us and it is still a shock that makes me cry when I think too much about it. I know he is in a better place, because the pain that he had was so intense, how could he not be in a better place without the pain?

He said that we had a lot of drama in our lives, but I sit back and smile and think of all the drama he left behind. Yep Tone-Bone… I am laughing right now. Without bringing up the drama in detail, Tony led an interesting life. I know for a fact that he was still reacting to the pain that we had as children and the needs that he had were met in many different ways. Tony could not “settle”, because that would mean that he would feel vulnerable. It is okay Tone-Bone… You are now safe. You can relax and know that everything that you did on this earth was okay… Your team at work loved you and thought you were brilliant and amazing! The same week of your funeral, your last project that you designed went live (that Friday)! Your team was so proud of you for that! As for your friends… you had more that you told us about… Tony… Tony… Tony…..Lordy… you could have warned us! LOL It is all good. Donna and I handled it. As for Donna, your family is all set too. Donna did a lot for your family and I am sure we will never know or Donna will probably never get a “thank you”, but Donna knows in her heart that she did everything you wanted…. They are very wealthy. You provided for them very well indeed! I love you big brother… I will see you one day. I hope mom and grandma is up there with you too!

As for me, I want to slow down with so much on my plate. Since Tony left us, it made me realize how much time I waste on working so much. I want to start sketching again. I want to start doing things that matter in this small world. I love my family so much. I am proud of them and I want everything positive and good to stay in their lives. I have a handful of friends that I cherish too…In 2017, I want to spend more time with my family and friends and not work so much.

I use Facebook as my “online journal”. I love how it document my life in posts and pictures. So, I will leave my words here and post pictures of what I did in 2016. I don't want to say good-bye to 2016, because that will mean that I have to say good-bye to Tony. So, I will say that this Chapter of my life will close and another Chapter will begin in a few hours.

Photos from 2016