A Hallway with Memories of Loneliness

 

Seeing this picture (Above - Photo credit: Facebook SVSF Group, Lawrence Adams) even after 40 years walking down these hallways, still made me cry and have an empty feeling today. I may have mentioned this in an earlier post (here at my online journal), but today I wanted to share my feelings with this picture.

Going back 40 years………. Use empathy while reading this (see yourself as a child and how you would feel in this situation).

I am not sure where Donna and I were coming home from… school or our grandma’s house, but as soon as we came home, our mom told us to pack all of our belongings.  We had to pack everything in large black plastic garbage bags.  This was confusing to us, but we did what we were told.
Once we packed everything in plastic bags, we had to bring them with us…. Along with Tony, Tina, mom and our step-father, we all loaded in the truck and drove away.  It felt like a long drive when you are driving in back of a large truck and when you are a young child.

We drove up to this beautiful circular driveway and mom instructed Donna and I to get out and bring our belongings with us.  While we walked up the main doors, we still had this confused feeling. We had no idea what was going on.  The front room was very small and it was so quiet that we could hear each movement of the plastic bags with each step that we took.
Someone was waiting for us.  It was a nun, Sister Mary. No words were exchanged.  We were only told to follow Sister Mary.

We looked at mom frighten and so confused to what was going on. Looking back at mom, all we saw was our mom turn away and walk out of the door.  (Photo above - This was the long hallway that we walked down….. It was a long quiet walk.) We did not know what was at the end of this hallway, until we reached the end.

At this point, two ladies came out from two doors.  This is when Donna and I started crying, because we were so afraid. Each lady took each of us by the arm and took us away from each other. No matter how bad it was for us at home, the emptiness we felt and how we felt that no one wanted us was unbearable. The only thing Donna and I had was each other…. And that was taken away from us.
We STILL did not know what was going on!  All we knew was that our family did not want us, nor did they love us and now we were “somewhere” that we did not know or understand AND had to endure this alone.  This was the start of many children’s homes and foster care.

Mom’s goal was to have Donna and I separated.  Not only were we living in separate “cottages”, we were going to separate schools and had separate activities. Mom also instructed SVSF that we were NOT allowed to see our grandma too. Mom succeeded at her goals.  We were alone, unloved, and no one cared what happened to us.

Living at this home was not a good either, however, that is another story…..Years later, when SVSF closed, we were able to obtain our records.  In those records were unbelievable lies!

Comments

  1. This is a heartbreaking story! I'm so sorry and I'm glad you are both together again. I always enjoy taking your fitness classes, and just enrolled again after 2-3 years. ((hugs))

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  2. You never can look at someone and know the story. I Love the energy that I receive from you guys during every fitness class that I take, it helps me deal with difficult issues that I face and feel hurt and confusion from. I have great admiration for you guys even though I am not up in your face, the trademark is evident of the RESILENCE that you have used to get through Life. There was a greater plan and purpose predestined for your life and together you are fulfilling it. God Bless you guys and your Brother.

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