Debbie Lim's Online Journal

Fifteen minutes from now, it will be 2013. The start of the year without mom. A lot has happened within the few months of mom passing. Donna and I are trying to learn from mom's death and get stronger because of mom's death. We never knew how to live or have fun. Sure when we are in front of our students, we smile and motivate them, but after we leave the class, we are right back to work. All of our lives we "were programmed" to only work, keep busy, and never get sick. Well, guess what? Since mom's death, we are busier than ever, we are working harder and we have been sick! The stress of everything brought down our immune system and our bodies are trying to tell us to slow down. We have had back aches, neck aches, headaches, and even bald spots on our heads! The stress is killing us and we need to slow down. This is my "Bucket List" for 2013: 1. I would like to teach less. Once we are happy with our new team members teaching on their own, I w

Now I understand how mom felt. No matter how much I try to take care of myself... Eat right, exercise regularly, take care of my health...... My body still is trying to give out on me, because of aging. I hate this! I am laying here in bed, since 5 AM.... I woke up to my neck/upper back trying to spasm and give me a lot of pain. I am praying this will not be "the norm", since this is the second time waking up like this!! It doesn't matter anymore, does it?

It has been three months and two weeks since we lost our mom. Friends have been comforting and loving. Most tell me to "keep the memories alive... think of the good times...".  Little do they know, my childhood was difficult. I am trying so hard to think rational. My mom is not coming back. I will never see her, hug her, or talk with her. Leaving a "habit" of talking with mom everyday is like someone trying to quit smoking. The withdrawal is unpleasant. The emptiness, crying spells, depression is unbearable. Physically it has taken a toll on me too. The last three months I have been sick with something. My hair is falling out and I am breaking out like crazy. I truly believe in mind over matter .  Changing the way we think... positive or negative WILL have an affect on our everyday lives. My childhood. ... although my mom tried her best at holidays, the time in between were very abusive and torture for the Lim children. If we were part of the world today as c

I cannot believe you are still gone mom. It will be three months this coming Tuesday. I miss you so much. In these short, but long three months, a lot has happened..... Obama was elected for a second term. Lord knows how upsetting that would be for you, but for the rest of us, we are very happy with the election. Tammy is now living in a place where there are 25 people that are loving her and paying attention to her everyday. You would be very happy with Tammy's new home. It was hard for Donna and I to let her go, but we knew she would be a lot happier. I kept six of your finches and they had a baby that is living and being taken care of with ALL SIX finches!!! They are in the large cage I gave to you. They love their new home and it is amazing to watch them with the baby. I smile, because remember you always told me that they kill their babies? I am witnessing something completely different mom. Your canary is with George. I think it is a little girl, because George said tha

Not sure what my feeling mean these last few weeks. I know I am still grieving over mom, but my emotions and the way I have been thinking is taking a toll on me physically, emotionally, and mentally. It could be due to the seasonal allergies for me or I am just run down? At times I feel like I have so much energy, that I don't know what to do with it and at other times, I want to climb into my bed and never leave it. I tried to educate myself with the meaning of grief, so I get that some of these feelings are normal. How about when I miss mom SO much one minute and them the next minute, I hear her telling me, "that I had no talent" or "...Stop it Bud... You will have a heart attack""...." My sister told me recently that can only make sense to someone that lived in similar childhoods like ours..... "We had to deal with many deaths of mom". The sad part is that this one was final.

What is life? To do your everyday thing in a cloud and put on a smile and laugh when expected...To act like a robot everyday, doing the same old thing.... No excitement, no light at the end of the tunnel. You wake up and do the same thing over and over again. We are like the workaholic Ants and then we get stomped on..... Just saying. No worries, no "what's wrong...". no pity... Just facts. At the end, we are nothing anyways, so why bother? Life isn't what you think it is. The people that are in your life, do you really and truly know them? Some of them you think you can trust and count on, but then suddenly you realize you meant nothing to them. Loneliness is hard. You can have people around you all day, but the empty feeling and lifeless life can overtake ones soul. Now I know how mom felt and why she felt the way she did. Why didn't I listen? I am my Mother's daughter.

Some of our students from the Cardio Boxing class in Farmington Hills. In this picture, some of these awesome students have been with us for over 12 years! You Burn Calories with Fitness Motivators ! Simply put, when you participate in one of our classes, you will burn calories. The more intensity you bring up your energy level in class, the more calories you burn. Are you pressed for time? We have 45-minute classes, 1-hour classes, and your choice of programs to choose from. Once you are in the class, think of that 45-minutes or 1-hour dedicated just for you! When you are not in class, and throughout each day, always think of ways to "stay active" — by taking the stairs instead of the elevator or revving up your household chores by listening to motivating music. Boosts energy with our classes - Improve your muscle strength and boost your endurance by taking our classes! Our classes and staying active throughout everyday deliver oxygen and nutrients to your tissues and help

First of all, I AM a minority.  I AM American-Chinese AKA Asian.  My skin tone IS olive, (somewhat a yellow undertone).  MOST OF MY LIFE, including today, I have had racial remarks thrown at me. I had a few fights because of WHO I AM, and people HATED ME because of the color of my skin. GUESS WHAT? I NEVER ONCE used the color of MY skin or WHO I AM to use against people, society, the community, or to get ahead. YES, a few people used the color of MY SKIN to stop me from getting ahead (once or twice), but I overcame that and moved on. WHEN I LOOK AT SOMEONE I DO NOT SEE COLOR and I am an artist!   I NEVER refer to a person "oh you know her (or him) that "color of skin or race" person...." SO why this topic ?  BECAUSE I am SICK and tired of people using the color of their skin to make a remark or a statement!  Instead of "Go Dark Girls" (referring to the United States winning the Gold in the Relay Race, where the group of beautiful young women w

I wanted to thank my little great-niece for waiting until the expo ended, before deciding to enter this big world! Born May 7, 2012, before 8am. "Thank you Sienna! I am so happy you decided to wait a few days for your grandmother and great-Auntie to finish working at the expo. You are a big girl and your eyes are already bright, smart, and brilliant. We needed a little baby in our family, because it has been too long! I love you little Sienna!"

We had a great time at the expo. We has the chance to hang out with our Fitness Motivators Team and meet a lot of people! It was hard work, long hours, and a lot of dancing, talking, and standing, but it was worth it! A show from Lifetime Networks interviewed us and I guess we were on Fox2 News because a lot of people said they saw us. (The cameraman came up to us and asked us to dance for the camera, so we did) The last day of the expo and when we finally made it home, Donna's son/daughter-in-law went into labor....... Off to the hospital we go..... Perhaps if we finish our next DVD, we will do the expo again next year!

My grand-puppy that I did not introduce to my blog yet. She is almost seven months old now and still weighs under two lbs. Whenever I tuck her in shirt, she instantly falls asleep i use my sweaters or sweatshirts as a baby holder and it works! hehe