Timestamp: 2/7/2009 8:21 PM
It is just one of those nights... I hardly have them, but when I do, I pray that I get out of them fast! I am so tired today. I cannot focus and my memory has been horrible lately. I feel like I am burning out fast and cannot stop this spiral effect.
The classes are going very well. I had to turn down a teaching position at Ballys. The sad thing they did was NOT inform the gym! One of our students came up to me this morning and said she saw the posters posted all around Ballys that I was going to be there today! I called them to inform them that I had called the Director on Thursday and informed her of my decision. I felt horrible that they were excited about it, but it was not feasible for me to conduct classes there! Not only was it a bad business move for me, but the pay was horrible! I only agreed to it because of being highly referred to them by another Instructor.
Speaking of that Instructor that referred me, I let her know about my decision and she told me (because she teaches for Ballys on the east side), that her free class had around 25 people and in her first paying class she only had 6 people show up! I am SO glad that I declined on the offer now!! She said she is used to 50 students at a time... OH, the sound system failed her TWICE and she had to play music that she was not prepared to play on both days!! When I went in for my interview, I was told that their sound system was a little challenging and that the CD player did not play as well as the iPod connector. It was for the best.
Back to the present.... "My mind" feels lazy today. If I said that to someone, would anyone understand what I mean? My mind - the way I think - how I react to things - etc - has been slow or unsteady lately. I try to stay focused and positive all the time, but my mind wants to go back to the black tunnel.
Lifetime Network has a movie coming out called, "America". I left a comment about my feelings toward this upcoming movie at the Lifetime Network website... This is what I said:
I have been seeing the clips of this upcoming movie with Rosie O'Donnell, America and have to admit, those feel seconds that I watch the clip, I start crying. When Rosie O'Donnell character says, "When you reach age 18, the systems is no longer there for you" (Not in those exact words, but you get what I mean).
I was turning 16 years old when that happened to my twin sister and I. We were in the court system because of child abuse... at our last visit to the courts (age 15 1/2), the court said that "we were too old for foster care, so we will put the girls on an Independent Living Program". Basically, we were kicked into the streets of Detroit.
If my schedule permits it, I plan to watch this movie. I came from the system and never looked back - I still deal with the nightmares, but I use the energy and continue to make something positive out of what I was given.
I am a grown woman, successful (I like to think so), Two grown children and a wonderful husband. If I had to go back to where I came from, to get to this point in my life.... I would.
Bravo to the people who made this movie possible... maybe it will shine a light on how the courts really treat these children!
In my eyes, it is kind of funny... I cannot believe my childhood can still impact my life today! To have memories pop in at no given time... to feel a certain way when you thought those feelings were gone.... to feel the pain of the past as though it were yesterday.........
This picture was taken last year - 2008. I was standing in front of the "Laundry Room" of one of the children's homes we lived in and Donna standing in front of the building that she lived in. Donna and I decided to take some pictures there because a private business bought the land and will be removing all of the "cottages" and replacing them with a sub division. This was the Sarah Fisher Home in Farmington Hills, Michigan. Another part of our past that will no longer exist....
The classes are going very well. I had to turn down a teaching position at Ballys. The sad thing they did was NOT inform the gym! One of our students came up to me this morning and said she saw the posters posted all around Ballys that I was going to be there today! I called them to inform them that I had called the Director on Thursday and informed her of my decision. I felt horrible that they were excited about it, but it was not feasible for me to conduct classes there! Not only was it a bad business move for me, but the pay was horrible! I only agreed to it because of being highly referred to them by another Instructor.
Speaking of that Instructor that referred me, I let her know about my decision and she told me (because she teaches for Ballys on the east side), that her free class had around 25 people and in her first paying class she only had 6 people show up! I am SO glad that I declined on the offer now!! She said she is used to 50 students at a time... OH, the sound system failed her TWICE and she had to play music that she was not prepared to play on both days!! When I went in for my interview, I was told that their sound system was a little challenging and that the CD player did not play as well as the iPod connector. It was for the best.
Back to the present.... "My mind" feels lazy today. If I said that to someone, would anyone understand what I mean? My mind - the way I think - how I react to things - etc - has been slow or unsteady lately. I try to stay focused and positive all the time, but my mind wants to go back to the black tunnel.
Lifetime Network has a movie coming out called, "America". I left a comment about my feelings toward this upcoming movie at the Lifetime Network website... This is what I said:
I have been seeing the clips of this upcoming movie with Rosie O'Donnell, America and have to admit, those feel seconds that I watch the clip, I start crying. When Rosie O'Donnell character says, "When you reach age 18, the systems is no longer there for you" (Not in those exact words, but you get what I mean).
I was turning 16 years old when that happened to my twin sister and I. We were in the court system because of child abuse... at our last visit to the courts (age 15 1/2), the court said that "we were too old for foster care, so we will put the girls on an Independent Living Program". Basically, we were kicked into the streets of Detroit.
If my schedule permits it, I plan to watch this movie. I came from the system and never looked back - I still deal with the nightmares, but I use the energy and continue to make something positive out of what I was given.
I am a grown woman, successful (I like to think so), Two grown children and a wonderful husband. If I had to go back to where I came from, to get to this point in my life.... I would.
Bravo to the people who made this movie possible... maybe it will shine a light on how the courts really treat these children!
In my eyes, it is kind of funny... I cannot believe my childhood can still impact my life today! To have memories pop in at no given time... to feel a certain way when you thought those feelings were gone.... to feel the pain of the past as though it were yesterday.........
This picture was taken last year - 2008. I was standing in front of the "Laundry Room" of one of the children's homes we lived in and Donna standing in front of the building that she lived in. Donna and I decided to take some pictures there because a private business bought the land and will be removing all of the "cottages" and replacing them with a sub division. This was the Sarah Fisher Home in Farmington Hills, Michigan. Another part of our past that will no longer exist....
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